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Heartbreak is the realization of our greatness. Heartbreak is one of the most trying, difficult and hurtful processes we can go through.

Heartbreak is not just an emotional state but can induce real patho-physiologic feelings of pain in the heart.

It has been said that the “most sexual organ is the brain and the organ of most intelligence is truly the heart”. We often think a lot with our hearts.

Heart Chakra Energy

When the energy of our Heart center or Chakra is in balance, we are compassionate, loving, empathetic, altruistic, peaceful, in balance and truly have love for ourselves.

When the heart is out of balance in excess conditions, we tend to express issues of co-dependency, poor boundaries with often demanding, clinging, jealous and overly sacrificing tendencies.

When the heart is out of balance in deficient conditions, we tend to become anti-social, withdrawn, critical, judgmental, intolerant of ourselves and others, lonely, isolated and depressed.

Heartbreak has a tendency to put our lives in perspective. Whether it is with the breakup of a romantic relationship or lose of a loved one, we need to take a look with an introspective eye. That is we need to take a reflective looking inward : an examination of one’s own thoughts and feelings.

Our Belief System

The strength in our heartbreak really depends on the strength of our belief systems about the relationship. Our mental attitudes and beliefs set up our perspective and expectations. This in turn dictate our relationships. With everything. With our self as human beings, with life, with our friends, family, lovers, business associates.

Our attitudes dictate our relationships with our own emotions, with our bodies, gender, and sexuality. Even with our concept of God. We determine in our minds what constitutes success or failure in any relationship.

“As long as we believe that someone else has the power to make us happy then we are setting ourselves up to be victims.”

It is important to remember that we are steering the ship. No matter what external situations can happen to you, you have the ability to take control of “how” you choose to look at this situation that has been presented to you.

“Who Am I”

You have now been given a rare opportunity to look at yourself. To observe your true self without any co dependent entities around you. Now is your chance. Who are ‘You’? I will not sit here and tell you, “It happens, get over it!” No. It is hard. As seekers of light and love, we take the human traits we formed early in life to use these traits on our journey.

The journey we seek is one of a Spiritual journey. We seek to better ourselves, to follow our dreams, to seek out our light that will take us to a higher plain. Depending on our beliefs we discover along our journey the outside influences such as people, places, things: such as money, property, and prestigeor external manifestations such as looks, talent and intelligence.

These external dependencies or often, co-dependencies can distract us and make us feel better temporarily but they cannot address the core issue – they cannot fulfill our Spiritually journey. They can give us ego-strength but not self-worth.

True self-worth comes from accessing the eternal Truth within, from remembering the state of Grace that is our True condition. The real reason we have set out on our journey in the first place.

We Need to Love

For it is Love and the lose of Love which truly allows us the greatest steps in our journey as a Spiritual being. The fact, that you yourself have loved is all that is required.

“Energy Follows Thought”

“With each beat of our heart and every breath that we take, we get a new opportunity to make a choice as to where we want to direct the energy of our lives. Every new moment offers a possibility to open a crack in the door that brings forth the power of the universe.

“The ever-present “now” is always offering new opportunities to improve our lives. As we verbalize and visualize during our prayer meditation sessions, the now is always turning the present into the past.

“Scientists have recently determined that the human brain takes an average of three seconds to process and transfer information from reality to memory, to change the present to the past. Each new moment gives us another chance to reevaluate in the light of the present, giving us an opportunity to make new choices and decisions as to what we want to do with our lives.”

Energy follows thought. Where your thoughts are directed, there is where your energy will go and manifest. Grieving losses are important because it allows us to ‘free-up’ energy that is bound to the person, object, or experience, so that we might re-invest that energy elsewhere.

Crystals Associated with Heartbreak and Healing

Here is just a sampling of the some of the best crystals for healing the heart energy:

Apache Tears

Properties: The stones are said to bring good luck to those possessing them. Black obsidian is a powerful Meditation stone. The purpose of this gemstone is to bring to light that which is hidden from the conscious mind. It dissolves suppressed negative patterns and purifies them. It can create a somewhat radical behavior change as new positive attitudes replace old, negative, egocentric patterns.

The Apache tears are also said to balance the emotional nature and protect one from being taken advantage of. It can be carried as an amulet to stimulate success in business endeavors. It is used at the Root Chakra for grounding and protection.

Folk Remedies: Eases and releases pain, loss, sadness, anger, to help heal and go on with life. For looking within, protection, vision quest/purpose. Gently grounds and unblocks lower body and endocrine glands/Chakra. Helps healing.


Properties: Aventurine seems to enable abundance and brings good luck and money, joy, balance and clarity. Universal love, truth and prosperity are traits we can gain by working with Aventurine. Spiritually, Aventurine protects the heart, enhances creativity and working with spirit guides. Green is the color of healing.

Aventurine, as a member of the quartz family, has a concentrated ability to dissolve emotional blockage. It’s a particularly effective crystal for emotional healing and is especially helpful when worn for this purpose or placed on the heart center during Chakra balancing. It helps to balance the emotions, and is one of the best stones to wear or carry during stressful periods. It can also be used in crystal layouts when stress is internalized in the solar plexus area.

It is also used with stones which have a seemingly more harsh energy. Aventurine is often referred to as the all-purpose healer. This means not only that it is considered by many to be good for physical disorders, but that it is healing on all levels. It helps us to find solutions to life’s problems.

Folk Remedies: Aventurine works with lungs, heart, adrenal glands, calming troubled emotions, and sexual organs. It is known as the “heart healer”. Historically also known to draw out heat of fevers, inflammation, nervous system, stress. In your bath water, a soft, soothing stone for general healing. Heals emotional pain/fear/imbalance by dissolving blocks in the heart Chakra.

Chrysocolla / Gem Silica

Properites: Gentle, soothing, friendly. Excellent for Heart Chakra; flushes and heals heart blocks (loss, hurt, guilt, fear…) for allowingness, flexibility, self-forgiveness, peace of heart, patience. Keeps one in light, love, and healing daily. On Throat, expressing feelings, verbal and artistic creativity, thyroid.

Also, heart blood sugar, and emotional balance. High conductivity from copper draws out pain, heat (fevers, inflammations, arthritis… ), Excellent therapeutic assistance for healing loss, incest, other traumas. Cleanses auric field. Dreams and Earth healing.

Folk Remedies: Relieves hypertension and stressful conditions due to fear or gilt. Helps one feel more comfortable speaking the truth. Help develop personal confidence. Historically used by musicians, perhaps because of its reputation for having healing properties for throat and lungs.


Properties: Bright translucent green chalcedony. Uplifts heart Chakra. Greater flexibility, wisdom, generosity, self-confidence. Heals depression, excess self-focus, emotions/sexual imbalance. Placed on heart, neck, or on brown for meditation.

Folk Remedies: Helps one achieve greater personal insight, feel more clam, become less egotistical, and more open to new surroundings and situations. Stimulates creativity and draws out unknown talents.


Properties: Calcium and calcite. Coral brings diplomacy and concurrence, quiets emotions, brings peace to inner self. Facilitates intuition, imagination, visualization, expedite, accelerate the transfer of knowledge. Strengthens both circulatory and bone structure in the body.

Folk Remedies: Stimulates tissue regeneration and nourish blood cells. Helps with disorders of the spinal, alimentary canals, nervous system and thalamus. Different colors of Coral can be used alone, in combination, or all together. Sympathetic to both the skeletal structure and the circulatory system.

Good stone for ailments of the bones and blood such as arthritis and anemia. Also benefits the cleansing organs and thymus. Helps battle mental illnesses. Has a true link with the past and can pass knowledge along.

Pink: Heart Chakra, increases sensitivity, caring, compassion.

White: Soothes; heals meridians, stress, smell ability, nerves.


Properties: All rainbow colors. Usually translucent and come in shades of white, brown, blue, yellow, purple, red, or colorless. Important balancer, healer. Opens heart (especially green), Throat Brow, Crown Chakra for clarity, overview, seeing additional truths/realities.

Folk Remedies: Spleen bones, teeth, lungs, detoxification, anxiety, insomnia. Benefits the teeth and bones. People with arthritis, rheumatism, or spinal injuries have reported some relief from their conditions when they employ Fluorite in their healing regimen. Helps to rekindle sexual appetite and heighten intuitive powers. It is suggested using Fluorite in conjunction with Calcite and Pyrite.

Assists in fighting mental disorder and gaining spiritual awakening. Helps one become more aware of the higher levels of reality and can anchor and free one from over-stimulation on the psychic plane.

Clear and Purple: Objectivity; clears the way for new things, uplifting, aura cleanse, 3rd eye, eyesight, sinuses; repels colds. Enhances other gems.

Green: Stills mind and heart, harmonizes and recharges all Chakra. Green Fluorite is a valuable helper in grounding excess energies.


Properties: Kunzite is a powerful, high level stone. It is used against negative energy and empowers positive and loving thoughts. Most effective on the Heart Chakra , it opens the emotional heart and spiritual heart. It represents unconditional lovingness and compassion. Used for healing abuse/loss/addictions. Helps emotional balance, confidence, connection to higher self and oneness.

Kunzite is also used on the Brow and Crown Chakra for the reason that it deepens altered states: psychic readings, healing…being centered emotionally and spiritually. Strengthens healers and teachers.

Folk Remedies: This crystal is recommended for reducing depression, mood swings, stress, radiation. Used extensively by the medical profession for psychiatric disorders. Good for the circulatory system and the lungs. A soothing stone that can help you adjust to the pressures of modern life.


Properties: Quartz is the Master Healer and the “stone of power”! Probably the most versatile multipurpose healing stone. Easy to cleanse, store information/ energy in, program or amplify energy and is used as a healing instrument. The natural tendency for quartz is for harmony. Quartz can both draw and send energy therefore it is effective for sending/receiving guidance.

Quartz is used for transformation in healing and in all levels of change (mentally/emotionally, physically and spiritually) . Quartz stimulates the natural crystal in body tissues and fluids to resonate at the highest healing frequency. Quartz works with All Chakra and master gland for balancing, cleansing and healing. It is the perfect stone for complete Aura balancing.

Folk Remedies: Quartz can be used to facilitate both speaking and receiving information from the spiritual world, masters, teachers and healers. Stimulates positive thought and healing. Quartz is considered Yin or Androgynous.

Quartz is often used in healing remedies such as crystal elixirs or solarized water, in clusters during meditation, in reiki grids or laying of stones in a web around you. They are used to clean the aura and balance chakra energies.

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Andrew Pacholyk
Andrew Pacholyk, MS, L.Ac. has been in the alternative health field for over 15 years. His knowledge, expertise and clinical training has offered him the ability to experience and continually learn about the body and its energy system in health as well as in disease.