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Apologizing – Why Is It So Difficult? (And Rare!)

[4 Jan 2011 | No Comments | 21 views | Author: Dee Braun, DrR, CA, CCT]
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Apologizing Why is it So Difficult? (and Rare!)Have you ever done something wrong? Naturally you have; we all have. Yet what do you do about it?

It might be difficult to say bye but it’s even more difficult to state that you are sorry. What is at the heart of this matter?

What goes on when you do something wrong? 1st there’s guilt. Guilt is a horrifying feeling that may cause numerous destructive habits.

Among those habits is denial. Your guilt is so overwhelming that you act like nothing ever occurred.

Guilt can likewise have you looking for somebody else to bear the blame. No one wants to look bad in someone else’s eyes, so they find a scapegoat to alleviate their feelings. Many of these acts are almost second nature when you’ve done something wrong.

Where It All Starts

It starts with society. Society bears a view of those who apologize and it may have an effect on our opinion of the act.

* Weakness – Apologizing may be viewed as a blemish in your personality. It gives somebody else a step over you. If you apologize one time you’ll do it again.

* Admittance of guilt – many folks apologize to diffuse a situation. To other people, this may be interpreted as an admission of guilt when you’re not guilty in the least. Many folks are scared of that.

* Surrender – you’re giving over your power to somebody else. We have plenty of people trying to tell us what to do, so we do not wish to voluntarily hand that right to somebody else.

* Imperfection – Extending an apology might make you feel that something is awry with you. You made an error and aren’t perfect but an apology brings that to light and you feel deplorably inadequate.

The tendency may be to avoid situations where you may make an error. In the real world, that might potentially stop you from departing your home. Every time you interact with somebody else there may be a misunderstanding that may lead to an apology needing to be extended.

Here are a few ways that you are able to learn to apologize when you have to without dreading fall-out.

* Do it immediately – When we wait to extend an apology, we dream up a lot of reasons why we should not or why we could not. Allay your concerns by saying sorry when the incident occurs.

* Understand the situation – How would you feel if the identical thing occurred to you? If you’d expect an apology then extend it to somebody else. State what you would prefer to hear.

* Be earnest – Refrain from prefacing your apology and using words that may render it insincere such as “but.” Give your all since anything less will be detected.

Apologizing is more than stating you are sorry. It’s realizing that somebody else has been hurt either deliberately or accidentally by you. Your timely response may alter everything.

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